this is the end
by Harry-fifty-vampires
Summary: Ana... christian ... leaving ... baby? ...cheating? ... what is happening with these two ?
1. Chapter 1

He is just standing there staring at me like I am a piece of meat ready to be eaten anying at me like i moment now, his eyes pouring into my soul he knows there is something wrong but yet he doesn't ask he just pulls me in and gives me the most passionate kiss of my life.

As he makes love to me I feel guilt he is my one true love but I will never tell him what is wrong as he will just see me and someone I don't want him to, he will see me as someone completely different I will never be the same person that he married.

I don't even need to find out the results tomorrow I already know that it is going to be the results are not going to be good and the impact will be massive on my life.

I lay awake all night thinking about what is waiting for me in the envelop I really do hope that my gut feeling is wrong but all the signs are there all the signs what will end my marriage…..

My heart is pounding in my chest I think it is going to explode if it hasn't already by my nerves. I need to keep myself calm I don't know the results yet anything could happen oh god ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.

**Sorry to leave it like that guys **


	2. Chapter 3

I desperately need to tell him the truth that I am dying but that would destroy him instead I am going to leave and never come back make him hate me for all of that it is worth I do not want the love of my life see me grow weaker before his eyes. No I need to do this for us and for us alone if I survive my treatment then I will come back and explain why I had to do what I did but if I don't make it then he will go on to life a happy life, one without me and he will love again without feeling the guilt of me dead as he will not know.

I start to pack my bags quickly before Taylor comes home with Christian I know today is a bad day to just leave because Christian is going through a bad business deal right now but at least if I leave it can only get better from here on out, I am going in to a private treatment centre to deal with cancer patient. I have already paid ahead for everything I need in cash and have taken out $5000 out so I cannot be found by using my card.

I head for the door but before I do I leave my wedding ring, divorce papers signed, my blackberry, laptop and car keys on his desk along with a note what says_ Christian my love I am sorry for doing this to you but I can't be with you know more I have drifted away to far I feel like I am way out of my depth like I am in the middle of the ocean without a boat and I am sinking. I need to be able to swim, live again just find myself but I need to find myself away from you and away from the media what surrounds our world. You will not be able to find me until I want to be found I am truly sorry for doing this to you but please move on._

_Yours for ever,_

_Ana_

This is the last time I will be here for ages if not one last look around the apartment I make my way down to the lift and away from my perfect life and away from the most perfect man I have met. I just felt low spirited after walking away and that is not the way I need to be to face my treatment just remember Ana you stupid girl you need to get well soon and make love to him again and again until he asks you to stop. Just thinking about him makes me sad I need to only think about him to make myself strong I can't be weak missing him; I have to fight and then be weak after all the fighting is done and I have won then is when I can be weak and feel sorry for myself.

As I walk into the treatment centre I mentally prepare myself for the road ahead and smile at the receptionist everyone already knows me here as I have been here many times for appointments and to get everything sorted for me to arrive I needed everything to go to plan is made sure I had a room facing the sea so I can wake up to the sun glistening on the sea.


	3. beta

hello could anyone help find me a beta as i will not update untill i have one so it can be a better story for everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

Christians POV

When I came home to be greeted by my present from Ana, my world came crashing down. How could she do this to me? Doesn't she love me anymore? I know we have been distant for quite some time, but that was because of some important business deals that have been taking a big strain on my life. I can definitely see it has taken a toll on Ana, big enough for her to leave me. I need to find her and make it alright. I won't bombard her with everything. We can just take it slow again.

God, just waking up to an empty bed is killing me. I can just about smell her still on her pillow and that is keeping my nightmares at bay, but just about. Every day that goes by with her missing, I am growing weaker. I need my strong Ana by my side to make the world a better place again. Half of my hair has fallen out by pulling on it over and over again. All I have gotten back in finding Ana are dead ends. Where can my girl are hiding? I don't care if she has given me divorce papers, I will not sign them until I talk to her face to face. I need her to explain. I will not give up on us. Never. Not until I die. Anyway, even if she is cheating on me, I will never stop loving her and there will be nobody else.

My tears have all dried out for now once I told my family that Ana just upped and left me they have been so supportive coming round making sure I eat I know that I normally hate when they have an input to my life but right now I am just grateful they have been my life line through this pain and misery. When I first told them what happened they were all in shock because we only saw them the day before she left and we were so happy so in love, what changed I wonder.

I start to wonder if my love will ever come back to me, I am just a monster and my Ana finally realised in and left properly running. Elena has been in contact with me trying to fix me up again with subs that bitch I cannot believe how insensitive she can be I don't even know what I saw in her when I was younger until I die I will not even look at another women it is only my Ana.

Elliott has asked Kate to marry him like I care, I am happy for Elliott but I still do not like Kate she is such a bitch specially when she will not tell me where my beautiful lovely Ana has gone. I have had some heated arguments with her about where she is but no she is pretending she doesn't know a thing and I call that bullshit them girls tell each other everything so I know that she is keeping something from me.

I have had security follow everyone from Anas family plus Kate, Jose and Kate's brother for about a month and a half and nothing has shown up I guess it proves that she really doesn't want to be find I will just have to give up.

It has been two months today since I have seen my beautiful Ana and I have finally found something. It isn't much, but it is something she visited a medical centre. Maybe it was for a relative or someone. God, I feel horrible. I don't even know what has happened in her family. It isn't like I haven't tried. They all shut me off. I'm not even going to let Taylor check this out for me. I have to do this for myself. Otherwise I won't be able to survive this madness.

As I walk into the clinic I see lots of young women, sick women. FUCK what if my beautiful Ana is one of those sick women?

I go to the reception desk and ask for Anastasia Steele; because there is no way she would come here with my last name. Not unless she wanted the media to follow her here. Just with my luck the receptionist confirms that there is in fact an Anastasia Steele here and is having her chemo right now. For god's sake, the receptionist shouldn't just give information out like that so easy, but I guess she is too busy trying to eye fuck me.

I walk to the chemo room and look through the beds for my Ana. All I see is weak frail women being treated. I feel so helpless. I'm about to turn out and walk out the door, but then I hear her sweet loving voice talking to a nurse about her treatment. Oh God, HER TREATMENT. This was all going on and I wasn't aware of it. Oh my Ana.


End file.
